My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I need moral support for this bender
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
