Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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