She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
His hands were made for my vagina.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
