Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
