apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
