just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
