I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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