So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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