I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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