he thought i was a dude.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
