if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Operation Purity has been aborted
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm having to shit out rocks
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