my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
