I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
