well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
