my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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