also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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