I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
