i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
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