i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
