Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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