I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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