if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
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