Someone shit on the floor
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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