i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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