she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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