nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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