I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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