Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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