So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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