Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just want nice things and good sex
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
