want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
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Who are you trying to impress?
They just think you jerk off violently instead of quietly now.
Or you could just leave the confines of your porn dungeon, and go meet a freak.
Took a 45 minute long shower fucking the shit out of my girlfriend neighbors called the cops and we broke the curtain rod. I win.
... and they weren't home.
If you spent as much time TRYING to have sex as you did PRETENDING to have sex, you might actually get laid... Unless you look like Andy Milonakis
Well thank goodness they think you have sex! Life - you're doing it wrong...
Yeah I'm calling bullshit on this one
I feel you, bro.