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  • Submitted by thirrteen on Jan 28, 13 at 10:16am

    Who are you trying to impress?

  • 98 64
    Submitted by porksword on Jan 28, 13 at 1:27pm

    They just think you jerk off violently instead of quietly now.

  • Submitted by ThisCantBeReal on Jan 28, 13 at 11:07am

    Or you could just leave the confines of your porn dungeon, and go meet a freak.

  • Submitted by kin_in_in on Jan 28, 13 at 1:38pm

    ... and they weren't home.

  • 91 64
    Submitted by ZombieBitten on Jan 29, 13 at 4:20am

    Took a 45 minute long shower fucking the shit out of my girlfriend neighbors called the cops and we broke the curtain rod. I win.

  • 82 56
    Submitted by 2Eazy718 on Jan 29, 13 at 12:36pm

    If you spent as much time TRYING to have sex as you did PRETENDING to have sex, you might actually get laid... Unless you look like Andy Milonakis

  • 88 94
    Submitted by cluelesspy on Jan 28, 13 at 11:50am

    Well thank goodness they think you have sex! Life - you're doing it wrong...

  • 85 99
    Submitted by iso on Jan 28, 13 at 1:22pm

    Yeah I'm calling bullshit on this one

  • 62 62
    Submitted by AlwaysTheDriver on Feb 1, 13 at 6:55pm

    I feel you, bro.