I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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