Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize