I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just high enough for therapy.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
