Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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