Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Randomize
