Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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