What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
