i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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