No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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