Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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