look no pants
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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