??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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