If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
