he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
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He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
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I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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