some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
