Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Umm I'm too high to move.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
ok i will unlock the door
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My room smells like vodka and shame
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Loading more great texts...