The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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