i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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