am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
