The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
