The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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