Have some text gold?

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  • How do you know Jesus? That's my landscaper. He's the one that gave me herpes.

    Submitted by Tyler9978 on Nov 17, 11 at 11:51am
  • Clearly "somethingawful" failed out of EMT school and is bitter... Maybe next time champ.

    Submitted by sugar_30 on Nov 17, 11 at 11:43pm
  • Actually laughed out loud on this one...!

    Submitted by Summer2397 on Nov 17, 11 at 11:58am
  • I give'th but cannot take'th away.

    Submitted by throwingstones on Nov 17, 11 at 12:23pm
  • Not many people remember that verse in the Book of Ke$ha.

    Submitted by BrendanA on Nov 17, 11 at 5:56pm
  • @ something awful: emts can do a lot more than just put on oxygen and drive the ambulance. And paramedics do need a doctors order. They have call the doctor to get permission to do and give a lot. Also, the only thing nurses can't do that medics can is intubate and even then a lot of hospitals train their nurse to tube

    Submitted by julialynne on Nov 17, 11 at 11:56pm
  • Mr. Flinstone you're right. You have my respect for knowing wtf you're talking about! :)

    Submitted by pinky22 on Nov 18, 11 at 12:17am
  • Haha just like we can't fix stupid-

    Submitted by emtchick on Nov 17, 11 at 2:33pm
  • Good ol' nasty ass Texas Tech

    Submitted by mkb0826 on Nov 17, 11 at 11:03pm
  • Should have contacted her before this happened since she would be able to advise you on prevention: wear a condom

    Submitted by Phys on Nov 17, 11 at 12:35pm
  • @somethingawful what an idiot

    Submitted by imjustinkay on Nov 17, 11 at 12:19pm
  • Technically, something awful is right. EMT's can't do much more than give oxygen and drive; it's the Paramedics that can do all of the cool skills. Actually more than nurses can without a doc's permission.

    Submitted by Mr_Flintstone on Nov 17, 11 at 11:50pm
  • @julialynne as paramedics we have standing orders which means we can do things under our protocols without calling for permission every thing we do for each patient. We are an extension of our medical director. Should we need something outside of those protocols that's when we call for orders.

    Submitted by campbelljbird on Nov 18, 11 at 2:58am
  • Emt ftw!

    Submitted by TheEvilPlatypus on Dec 11, 11 at 1:55am
  • Herpes= the new leprosy

    Submitted by rock_ahardplace on Nov 17, 11 at 8:59pm
  • Ahh my bf is an emt...gotta love them.

    Submitted by mcfuckers on Nov 18, 11 at 12:18am
  • but since your also a stripper you sure can give them

    Submitted by nunubeest on Nov 17, 11 at 8:27pm
  • EMT's can't do shit. They just put oxygen on everyone. But they do drive the ambulance.

    Submitted by somethingawful on Nov 17, 11 at 12:08pm