Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
babies were throwing up all over the place
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
