The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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