I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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