How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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