We're facebook friends in real life
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
