eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize