so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so much tequila, so little girl.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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