Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
