so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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