We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
