North Korea, Best Korea!
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize