On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
North Korea, Best Korea!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
sarcasm needs its own font
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
