i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just threw up on my dentist
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
