no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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