They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
