Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
